DIY Gone Bad
27 Apr 2012 15 Comments
There once were two little bears. Though they liked each other very much, the cubs were both very competitive and selfish.
One day as they were playing in the ice, they found a big, juicy fruit. The only problem was that each wanted to have the fruit by himself. They therefore argued over who was entitled to the fruit until a fox came to their rescue.
‘How about you share the fruit?’ he suggested to them.
And they liked the idea.
So the fox split the fruit into two but when he was about to give it to them, he realized that one half was bigger than the other. Again, the bears started fighting over who’d get the bigger share.
But the cunning fox had a solution. He told them that he’d make the pieces equal by biting a tiny piece from the bigger fruit. And he did! But his bite was rather too big, making the remaining piece smaller than the initially smaller piece.
Again, the cubs started fighting and the fox offered to help one more time….
Long story short, the fox ate the entire fruit long before the stupid cubs even realized what was going on.
You’d think that am smarter than the cubs. Well, you’re wrong…
It all started like a month ago, I was in the salon consulting my hair dresser. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately, since I realized that I know so little about hair. I didn’t know that treating hair with ‘protein’ makes it stronger, or that hair freezes at times, or that hair too needs to be moisturized! Who’d have thought of that?
Well, so I’m there explaining to him how I don’t like plaiting hair for I really hate un-doing it and he suggests something I had not thought of. ‘Why don’t you put on a weave for a few weeks?’
It sounded like a very intelligent idea, but I’ve heard that guys don’t like synthetic hair. I therefore asked boyfriend whether he’d mind my trying out the look. He told me that he’d be okay so long as the weave was not shiny.
I shopped for the weave in advance. For an average lady, it was, well… averagely priced. But not for me, I felt like it had cost me an arm and three toes. But not to worry, I was changing my look and looking good is all that mattered.
And that’s how Easter’s Sunday found me in the salon having my brand new hair fixed. The expensive ‘human’ hair did not disappoint. By the time I was back in the house, I looked like a million hundred bucks.
My hair had never been so long and beautiful and I kept telling anyone who cared to listen boyfriend just that. It’s not like I wanted to brag or anything, no, but the hair just found ways of coming up in every conversation; and I just could not help it.
We’d be watching the weather forecast and I’d go like, ‘You just don’t know how hard it is to have long hair on a windy day, it keeps covering your face….’
Or I’d see a detergent advert on telly and I’d be like, ‘I don’t know how I’ll be washing my clothes. You know when you have hair as long as mine, but never mind… you wouldn’t get it; yours is short.’
This went on the whole evening. I would tell boyfriend how awesome it is to have beautiful hair, and then I would look at myself in the mirror, then comb it , and then I’d look at it in the mirror before talking about it a little more.
Those who know me well will tell you that I have very itchy fingers that just want to fix things. There’s a medical term for that, itchiosis or fixialism, am not so sure. It’s basically a condition where your brain convinces your fingers that they can fix anything- including airplanes. (But don’t quote me.) This will explain what happened next…
After trying all the styles I could think of, a thought struck my mind, ‘How about I cut it a little, and I’ll have a new style all together.’
You have to understand that this was the very day that the hair had been made. Seeing the devilish smile on my face, boyfriend immediately knew what was going on in my mind. And the poor guy tried to stop me, ‘Look, don’t do anything tragic, I really like this look. So just keep it for the next two weeks and after that, you can cut it and have a different look. But don’t do it yourself, let the hair dresser do it. ’
And in my head I was thinking, ‘what does he know about hair?’ As it turned out, he knew more than I did!
The following day was Easter Monday and I was not going to work. Bored from all the hair talk, I think, boyfriend left for the gym in the morning. I had the house hair to myself and the whole day to decide what I would do with it. I therefore tried several styles and in the end, I came to the realization that I had been right the day before. The hair did need to be trimmed a little.
And trimming I did!
It was easy; I just held it into a ponytail, reached behind my head and propelled the scissors into action. When I was done, I took the mirror, closed my eyes and opened them slowly hoping to see a perfectly dressed head staring back at me. What I saw almost made me scream…
I turned the mirror round and round looking for the ‘undo’ button but I could not find it. All I saw was this…
This time my eyes popped out!
Realizing that I could not ‘Ctrl Z’, I took my phone and made a call to boyfriend, ‘I just did something stupid …’ I told him, explaining my predicament.
He told me to not do a thing; he’d come and fix my mess. Again, I should have listened.
The following is a demonstration of what happened next…
I could see that I was on the right path, now if only I could trim it a little on the left… And I did.
What the hell??? Anyway, no need to panic. You can still rock this look Cess. You just need to relax. Breath in, out, in, out… Now cut on the right side…
After this, I knew that it was time to quit. 
And that is how I managed to ruin my most expensive hairdo in less than 16 hrs!
Dear Diary
14 Mar 2012 6 Comments
I know I’ve not been me lately, I barely seem to have time for you and it must look like I don’t even care about you anymore…
Truth is, it’s that time of the year when you wake up and realize that you don’t know what to say anymore, or even how to say it.
No. Nothing’s wrong, in fact I’m very much ok. I guess it’s just a phase.
I can compensate by posting stuff from other blogs, but I’ve even stopped reading… How sad?
I can however promise that this will not last for long. And when that happens, you’ll be the first one to know.
Bye for now.
Yours faithful,
Stand For Kenya!
17 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: beautiful country, game parks, national anthem
We are extremely proud to be Kenyan!
We are proud of our beautiful country!
We are proud of our diversity cultures and traditions!
We are proud of our heroes!
We are proud of our high achievers!
We are proud of being hustlers!
We are proud of our hoods!
We are proud of our tribes and twengs!
We are proud of our kanges and our mats!
We are proud of our artists and musicians!
We are proud of our industries and farms!
We are proud of our sports teams!
On the 28th of February 2012 at 1pm, wherever you are, at work, in the supermarket, in traffic, in school, on campus, in hospitals, in churches, in mosques, in temples, in synagogues, on sports pitches, in court, on your farm, at police stations, at armed forces barracks, in matatus, in buses, on the beach, in the game parks, at the airport, in parliament, in State House, in your homes ..
On the 28th of February 2012 at 1pm, we stand
On the 28th of February 2012 at 1pm, we unite
On the 28th of February 2012 at 1pm, we shall speak in one voice.
On the 28th of February 2012 at 1pm, let’s sing our beautiful and powerful National Anthem, all three verses.
On the 28th February 2012 the world will watch as Kenyans stand UNITED;
1pm, 1 nation, 1 people, 1 anthem, united in 1 prayer for 1 Kenya
We are Kenya!
Google Doodle
14 Feb 2012 6 Comments
If you don’t like Valentine’s day, it’s probably because you’re single or because you’re in a relationship but you’re broke.
I did celebrate it once with friends. Details are in my archives and I’m not going to link for I’m a respectable person now. Long story short, I was admitted in the university’s health centre for two hours thanks to an overdose of what I’ll refer to as chocolates.
But not everything about Val’s day is evil… An example is this google doodle that’s just creative. Enjoy.,
It was You
13 Feb 2012 9 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: beautiful flower, disbelief, melon
I met him in my dreams,
And immediately knew he was different
Compassionate and upright,
Captivating yet naughty
Just like a parrot’s beak,
Beautiful flower yet so rare
He was there,
And he was you…
He’d wake me in the night,
And tell me to tell him a story
How he loved to listen to me,
And how I loved that he did
He’d nod and smile,
And hold me when I cried
Yes he was there,
And he was you…
My tower of strength he became,
A pillar to lean on
He was a best friend,
My rock and my family
A melon in the desert,
So precious was my dove
It is true he was there,
And he was you…
But then morning came,
And the dream came to an end
And when the fog had cleared,
I stared in disbelief
Not just what I had dreamt,
Oh… that, and so much more
For there stood my prince,
And you know it is you
Still Kicking…
19 Jan 2012 6 Comments
I know I promised to write more… Well, resolutions are made to be broken.
I’m not even trying.,
But funny enough, I found time to draw myself…
What I did not Learn
14 Dec 2011 12 Comments
If there’s one thing college taught me, it was to push my way through any situation. Literally push my way through. I learnt that life’s not a bed of roses; everyone for themselves and God for us all; and most importantly, I learnt that when life pushes you to your knees, you’re in a perfect position to pray grab it by the nuts and punch it in the face!
I’m an early bird. And early birds wake up early. But as I told you before, I live in a country side set up where we have cows and coffee and potatoes and bananas and all that in the farm…
This explains why I have to wake up early and milk the cows, go the farm to get some coffee beans then use the milk and coffee to make our breakfast which is usually accompanied by roasted bananas or boiled cassava. As for the sugar, we don’t have sugarcane but I’ve since realized that Napier grass canes works just fine. It’s a little bitter, but you hardly notice.
I’m kidding…
The above was my failed attempt to try and explain why I always end up being late to work. The truth is, you’d have to take the bed outside and proceed to pour cold water on me to get me out of the bed.
And this particular day was no exception…
After dragging myself out of bed, I showered, dressed, undressed, dressed again, undressed again …then dressed the fifth time before taking my handbag and rushing outside. I did not even have time for breakfast.
But lucky for me, it only takes me 30 or so minutes to get to town. But by that time, I was already late and I still had to take a KBS to Upperhill where I work. When I got to Kencom, I immediately identified my bus, but there was a big problem. You see, the passengers were so many! There were about 50 men, women and children fighting their way into the bus.
With a PHD and over four years of experience in Bachelors of Life, Pushing and Shoving, I knew that this would be a walk in the park. Unlike other people, I knew that I’d have to approach the bus door at an angle; I’d have to step on muddy feet, squeeze under sweater armpits, or even bite a wrist or two if I had to.
And squeeze I did! By the time I got into the bus, I was 2.3kgs smaller and smelt of at least four different kinds/odours of sweat.
But it was all good now; I was inside the bus. Mission accomplished successfully! I did it so well that I even managed to get two empty seats and I sat near the window.
I was too busy, searching inside my bags for coins, to see a lady, probably older than my mum sit next to me. Her hand bag was all over the place and she placed a large yellow envelope on my laps smiling as she requested me sweetly, ‘Could you hold it for me for a Second?’
And I took it. It was her x-ray film (or whatever they call it.)
And then it suddenly hit me…
Cess,
i. Those who were going to work are already in their offices
ii. You share the route with people who’re going to the national Hospital
iii. And you just pushed sick people or
iv. Depressed people who are going to visit their sick relatives and friends in the hospital
‘KU, you taught me many things, but you forgot to teach me that there’s time to push, and there’s time to sit back and just watch.
Or maybe we were taught… I just wasn’t present that particular day.’
Cesky Cess
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